micro gift

The 18th of September, Chile's national holiday, I gathered with friends at Chritian's apartment. We went together to get on a city bus, and I sat on one side of the bus that just had single seats. Pretty soon I began to feel this bonk on my head, and i turned around to see a 20 something year old chilean guy holding a funny shaped balloon from one of the festivities. He said hello, and I soon turned around. Eventually he began to bonk me on the head again until I turned around. He said I reminded him of his ex girlfriend, who he had a kid with.
So he gave me a beer. As a gift, he said.

Everybody on the bus looked a little concerned, as i tried to refuse the beer but eventually just gave in.

I turned around and the bonking continued. Eventually he told me he had to leave but it was really nice to meet me since I remind him so much of her. He shook my hand to leave and slipped a little packet into it. I didnt look inside but when wee got off the bus my guy friends insisted i toss it because it was this type of cocaine base drug thats super addictive here.

He really never even asked for my number or anything, it wasnt even like he was hitting on me, just trying to talk to me and tell me how i looked like her

this may just top it all

6:25 am, i pass the mediterranean deli, and an african man stares at me from his car before letting me pass and then pulling out onto university. he drives at the pace of my bike for about a block, even though (biking uphill) i am going significantly lower than the speed limit.
he begins to pull over to the side of the road, i bike faster.

i cant even explain how stupid this was, but in essense he pulled a U turn from the right lane, and the car in the left lane, though swerving immensely and giving a horn warning, gets the shit nailed out of the passenger side. it was the most deserving accident i've ever seen. (on his part, poor girl... who knows if he evven has insurance or will tell the truth about the accident.)

serves you right, creepy dude

Want a beer?

I sit down near the river bank to read and after about 5 minutes a 40 something man approaches and sits next to me. I've never really had a thing for red heads with mustaches.
Or just red heads,
old men
or a 'stache in general.

Already fumbling with my camera, I figure fuck it and start a video recording. It needs dubbing, but it kicks off with "Oh shit, I'd better hide these beers."

Wendell introduces himself and proceeds not to impress me for the next half hour. I mean, he was already down a few points from being random, ugly, and about to drink in the park, but the illogical move of slipping increasingly detailed tidbits of his life as a cement pourer really wasnt giving this guy a greater chance of me not thinking he's annoying, creepy, nieve and dumb.

Like any girl I normally think I have too big of thighs but momentarily they provided a nice vision barrier between him and my rapid scribbling of his quotes.

"Lydia is a nice German name"
"It's Greek"
"Oh, I'd love to go there, to Greece and Ethiopia."
(Ethiopia=totally random, but he wants to go there because hominoids began in Ethiopia, but he has to go there to prove it himself. He read a book on evolution, which is where he learned this, but said "I cant even go into it, it's so complicated. But I trust what this guy says cuz he'd researched it.")
Later he admitted he doesn't actually want to travel. "I like this country. I'd hate to leave and go to anywhere else."

Then randomly, "I saw two guys kissin' in the parking lot but I didn't say nothing. ...I mean, I got nothin' against gays. Well, I went 'EEWWW' and they looked at me. I told my friend I saw two guys kissin' and he said, 'Isn't that better than two guys fightin'?' So I guess he's right about that."

And my personal favorite, "You college girls is pretty. But there's a new law. Its illegal for us to oogle at college girls for more than three seconds."

Finally I claimed to be annoyed by the bugs and left, walking my bike up the huge hill on the bluffs. Soon he rode up past me on his moped, pretended it couldn't make it any further, and waits for me but I keep going. Then he gets the moped on the sidewalk and pretends to almost run into me, passes me again, and waits at the top.
"Know of any good restaurants to go to around here."
"Nope, I"ve never been around here before."
"Well I can treat you to dinner."

HHHHHHHHHELLL no. We went opposite directions, but 10 minutes later he passed me going in my direction again.

What a walk

My walk home from work last Thursday was rather...odd.
Passing the new U Flats going up near my apartment on University a silly old man approaches me on bike. He wore a striped railroad baseball cap, glasses of magnifying capabilities, and a sweatshirt with a large cartoon school bus on it. You're thinking- 'ten bucks says he talks to you.' Do collect.
Our conversation was around ten minutes; at the time I wished I had a tape recorder, but regardless... quotations obviously not exact.

So he stops me, looking completely baffled, and comments on the construction of the new buildings. He questions why they have so much wood, without concrete reinforcements. He rants about how easy it would be to burn them down, especially with students living there. In the midst of this ramble, he suggests something about Iraq being behind it as revenge.
Thats it! I bet Iraq, rather than rebuilding their own country, is secretly behind faulty student housing options.
Judging from my long background in architecture and construction, I try to settle the matter with a 'no candle' policy, but he's not having it. Apparently, this dude's biggest pet peeve is prohibiting things.
He shouts "Its when you prohibit things that everybody has to do it!! Remember prohibition? (yes sir, i remember it like yesterday??) All the students will light candles just because they aren't supposed to. Like the other day, my lady friend calls me and says she's taking Viagra. I told her women arent' supposed to, and it says it right not the packaging, and she tells me thats exactly it, she did it because she wasnt supposed to!"
Eventually, after much ramble and such, he lets me leave. I get halfway down the block when I have left enough distance to call Kat and tell her about the funny character who's granny pals are on Viagra.

It wouldn't be funny if the story ended there. Well yeah it'd still be a little kooky, but anyway...
appraoching the crossroad, a Saab has stopped with a 20something guy in it resembling Peewee Herman. (This is where I missed the warning signal)
I hang up on Kat's ring and approach the car as he was leaning over trying to ask for directionss or something. Assuming I misheard the initial statement, I stick my head in the window to hear again-
"You have nice boobs."
"Uhh....thankyou" And I start to walk away, of course.
"HEY...what size are they???"

Good thing i wear a ring on my ring finger

6:15 am i'm walking up university to work. A school bus hovers in front of me, and as I walk past, the driver gets out from the front and says "Good morning!"
"morning" i reply

So he pauses, then says "where are you going?"
I vaguely say "oh, I have to be somewhere"
"Oh, well, are you married, or no?"

he says such nice things to me!

Yesterday an old bearded man holding a cardboard sign on a highway onramp yelled at me
"You'd better watch out lookin' that fine,
you're gonna get hurt!!"

haha,
compliment or threat?

dance, dance

me & hayes...

gettin a groooove on!